this is the best thing in the entire world
she should greet jane as if nothing happened and see how jane reacts
she should avoid school the next day. And the next. Every night, she should put on the exact outfit she had on that day, hose herself down until she’s completely drenched and stand in Jane’s yard. When Jane is home alone, she should approach the window, staring at her. Knock on it if you don’t have her attention.
That’ll get her back for killing you and trying to hide the evidence.
50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print.
Click image and magnify for large version.
Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
HEY LOOK EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT 50 SHADES SERIES IN ONE
ooo, someone actually broke down the Safe Sane Consensual thing and how 50 Shades DOESN’T EVEN TOUCH IT WITH A 10 FOOT POLE.
I got so tired of explaining why what I liked was different from this piece of shit. Thank you.
Important. If you’re into BDSM or curious about it, if you don’t know anything about it, if you do know something about it, if you’re curious about 50 Shades, if you’ve read 50 Shades, please just read this.
The bolded portions. Yes. All of this rings true. I cannot speak to a male without having this thrown in my face.
This is pathetically reductive, and it is shameful to see it coming from “Egyptian Atheists”, or what I would assume to be a non-Western source. The argument made is that these nations used to be free and democratic before Islam “took over”. Such arguments are ignorant, malicious, and do nothing but further negative misconceptions of Islam and people in Southwest Asia.
First, here is a history lesson on Afghanistan. From 1933 until 1973, Afghanistan was ruled under a man named Mohammed Zahir Shah. While he was a devout Muslim, he had a Western education in France. His reign marked four decades of peace and stability. With the introduction of a constitution Afghanistan progressively developed into a modern democratic state with free elections and a parliament, as well as a massive push for women’s rights, universal suffrage, education, worker’s rights, and civil rights. So yes, Afghanistan was doing well in the 60’s as this photo suggests. However, the photo doesn’t give you context for what went wrong.
During this period in time, the Soviet Union had a strong influence in Afghanistan. They supported modernization and education in the Afghan state. The United States, not wanting to risk their hegemony in the region, clearly had a major problem with this. They were terrified of the spread of Communism and quickly developed a plan. Afghanistan would become the Cold War’s chessboard. In the late 80’s, the Saudis, Pakistanis, and the Americans brought in radical Islamists from around the world. They armed, trained, and directed them into a militant force, and they were called the mujahideen. They became the US’ main offense against the Soviets. It wasn’t to defend the Afghans against the Soviets who were ready to pull out, but to deliver as much harm against them imaginable. Carter wanted Afghanistan to be the Soviet’s “Vietnam”. And it was. When they finally retreated Afghanistan spun into chaos and a civil war ensued under the militant mujahideen warriors. Within this framework we saw the rise of the Taliban and Al Qaeda, and of course Osama bin Laden. All under the auspices of the United States security forces and American tax-payer monies. Clinton’s bombing of Sudan and Afghanistan was directly responsible for their rise. Oh, and then in what was most likely the greatest immoral injustice of the 21st century the United States invaded Afghanistan in 2001 only further driving the besieged nation further into turmoil.
What does this mean? The mujahideen, the Taliban, and Al Qaeda do not represent thousands of years of Afghan culture and Islam. They are a direct reaction to Western imperialism. The root cause for the disparity between the two pictures is foreign intervention. Not Islam, and certainly not Afghan people.
Second, here is a history on Iran. Before 1953, Iran was ruled under a democratically elected man called Mohammad Mosaddegh. Under his reign Iran saw a progressive movement of social and political reforms. During this time Britain tried to establish an oil company (British Petroleum) on Iranian soil, and promised to share profit and technology with the Iranian government. However the British, as usual, didn’t honor their agreement. They, and the United States, began to steal Iran’s oil. Prime Minister Mosaddegh would not stand for this and demanded the seizure of the oil fields and the ouster of the British. In response, the British and the United States overthrew him in a coup and installed the Shah who was a brutal tyrant and ruled the nation under an absolute monarchy. The women in this picture did live well, but that was because they were members of a very small minority and in the Shah’s social circle. Everyone else in Iran lived under harsh conditions. The economy was failing, education was abysmal, and the entire nation was rural and very religious.
Today, Iran’s health care is better. They have more political freedom. Education is improving, and the country is slowly globalizing. The economy is slightly better off, however that is quickly changing with the Western world’s sanctions against Iran in midst of their nuclear propaganda campaign at the behest of Israel.
What does this mean? Essentially, the Islamic Revolution had little to do with the rise of an Islamic state; it was the resistance of Western imperialism. Almost every social and political group was united in resisting the Shah, from the communists to the secularists to the Islamists. They demanded Iranian sovereignty and political freedoms. Is the current regime in Iran perfect? Absolutely not, and I’m passionately against it. But this picture is extremely distortive of the truth.
Unfortunately, we have gone full circle. Today, the United States is supporting terrorist cells in Iran in an attempt to oust the current Iranian regime. They want to establish another pro-Western government like the Shah and “try again” where they failed. They have been doing this for decades and it hasn’t been working well. That is why we are now seeing media hysteria against Iran, and their false quest to achieve nuclear power and bomb Israel. Iran is a peaceful nation, and always has been. They have never attacked another nation, and have absolutely no intention of attacking Israel or anyone else for that matter. The United States’ war against Iran is rooted solely to seek revenge for their failed foreign policy in the 70’s and to once again take control of their natural resources.
In conclusion, if you think you can understand decades of history in Iran and Afghanistan, or anywhere for that matter, by looking at a photograph or two, you have absolutely no right to engage in intellectual discussion or give your opinion on anything. Ever.
Just a friendly reminder to not put your change in the red buckets this year!
“The Salvation Army doesn’t believe that gays and lesbians should ever know the intimacy of any loving relationship, instead teaching that ‘Christians whose sexual orientation is primarily or exclusively same-sex are called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life.’" - (source)
“Salvation Army Major: LGBT People Should Be Put to Death" - (source)
“The Salvation Army openly says that ‘practicing homosexuals’ aren’t welcome in their organization and they have lobbyists in D.C. and abroad who work to prevent gay rights legislation from being enacted." - (source)
“The Salvation Army does not only discriminate against gay and lesbian people, it also works politically against LGBT rights all over the world." - (source)
Spread the Word!
So while some of your nickels and pennies are going to hunger relief or “Christmas Assistance” just know that a large portion of your donation is going toward lobbying governments worldwide for anti-gay policies - including an attempt to make consensual gay sex illegal.
Thanks for your time! Please inform your friends and family, to help signal boost this message!
Other ways you can help this Christmas season:
I fixed the links. Please reblog this instead! :)
Suicide rates per 100,00. I honestly want to be eloquent and verbose and I try to explain this… but to be honest, this graphic is hard for me to process. Look a the rate of suicide for men compared to women (forgetting the racial aspects, especially since native american men suicide at even greater rates than white men). Men are killing themselves and there is virtually no help for them out there.
I want to say that men are only killing themselves at a higher rate than women due to an increased national awareness and increased resources intended to help women from suicide, whereas that is virtually no help targeted or geared towards men. But according to this study by the CDC, suicide seems to be on the top 10-15 causes of death since at least 1958, with gendered statistics beginning in 1971 with suicide being the 9th leading cause of death for men and it not being on the list at all for women. The first crisis helpline in the US started in 1974.
All of which seems to strongly suggest that men have always been more apt to kill themselves than women are, and yet, all our resources go towards keeping women alive, not men.
I very firmly believe that overly strict gender roles and expectations explain this horrible phenomenon, which is one of many enormously important reasons to downplay, blur, and deconstruct how we conceive of gender:
Male gender roles tend to emphasize greater levels of strength, independence, and risk-taking behavior. Reinforcement of this gender role often prevents males from seeking help for suicidal feelings and depression.
Not that you need to snark about our ~resources going to women~ to point that out
men just happen to succeed more often
they do not need male-specific resources
Lets be honest here,
how many of those suicides are men who have done horrible things and can’t live with themselves now? I don’t think its about depression as much as it might seem.
Women are depressed for completely different reasons then men most of the time, and a will say… men are usually depressed because of something horrible they have done - women are usually depressed because of the horrible things done to them.
And you know, most of those suicides of white men are military men…. need I say more?
Oh course, anyone can feel free to disagree… not all men commit suicide because they can’t live with something they done, but more do than women.
Wow, just wow. You’ve made a baseless assumption so grand… It reads like some victim blaming diatribe about clothing and deserving it.
You have no idea what these men did or did not do. You have no idea the circumstances that brought about the severe emotional despair to cause them to kill themselves.
You are blaming them and saying “they probably did something to deserve it. They’re men after all.”
Do you realize how disgusting that is?
Just when I thought someone couldn’t say something any more disgusting and offensive, Tumblr had to go and prove me wrong.
I’d say words fail me, but that would be wrong. I have quite a few words to say.
hellomissmayhem, lavenderdots, you two are disgusting excuses masquerading as human beings. I have to wonder what sort of pathologically broken mentality it takes to look at a frankly terrifying graph of people killing themselves and come to the conclusions of “They don’t need support systems to stop it” and “They’ve probably done something they can’t live with anyway”
Oh, that’s right, there’s a word for this unique lack of empathy - it’s called fucking psychopathy.
Given your grasp of the english language, I can’t excuse you as being unaware of the fact that these numbers are not mere abstracts for you to score points from, or dismiss as part of your personal agendas, but real, actual people who are fucking dying. the fact you’re viewing them as something that somehow makes you less special is outright fucking disgusting.
Numbers like this are an actual fucking problem. They are a HUGE fucking problem. It doesn’t matter if the people concerned are white males, black males, latina women, asian women or three headed inhabitants of the planet Zarz, this is a serious fucking problem. We need to look at why this is happening, we need to work out why this is happening , and we need to try and stop it from happening and support this huge slice of our population in desperate need of help.
The fact that you look at this fucking graph and still consider people disposable based solely on their race and genitalia makes you a screaming, bigoted piece of trash that does not belong in a sane society.